Thursday, January 29, 2009

Thursday's Child Has Far To Go

I was actually born on a Thursday. Plus that's a line in a Harry Nilsson song, "Here's Why I Did Not Go to Work Today." Very slow, jazzy, New York-esque song. Love it, love it.

I have had such a good morning today. Both today and yesterday I had a nice cup of tea, Irish Breakfast actually. Today I picked up the always-present New York Magazine on our coffee table and started flipping through it. I've never actually read it before, but today it just felt right. I actually loved it. It just felt right on my day off. And then I had this urge to knit, so I busted out the knitting needles and cheap yarn I own and got to work. Of course, since it's been almost two years, I did have to look at the book to remind myself how to cast on and knit, but it came right back. Like ridin' a bike. And I still do not know how to purl. It drives me nuts still. I just am incapable of doing it. Now, that could be because I am trying to learn via a picture book, which is not the best way for me. Once I actually do it with my own hands I will never forget, but until that happens purling will be my elusive unicorn stitch.

"So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."
-1 Corinthians 10:12-13

I've been thinking a lot about temptation and what that looks like in my own life. I mean, I totally know what it looks like, and it is very attractive. It takes the form of something I deeply desire and long for. But temptation is not beautiful. It's not actually worth anything. Thank You Lord for Your Word. It is something still so relevant in my life. Even the same verse, one year it can mean something and the next year it can speak to something completely different. Beautiful.

I am grateful to God for His faithfulness. He is always faithful. He cannot be anything but faithful. So I have to learn from my own past, just like Paul talks about. It reminds me of a sermon I heard back at CCCN, way back in... 2004 or 2005, during senior year of high school. S was talking about self-confidence v. God-confidence. I don't remember the nuts and bolts of it, but I do remember that comparison, confidence in myself v. confidence in God. And how I understand more and more what that actually means. My confidence, my strength, my assurance, none of that is actually "mine." It all comes from the Lord. He gives me strength because He is my strength. I know I am weak. I know I do stupid things for dumb reasons. God rescues me, and He tells me that I know the truth. I know what to do, so I just need to do it. I don't know all of the truth, but I know enough to make a decision. And this particular decision hurts a part of me to make, but at the end of the day I know it is the right one. T and I used to talk a lot about "counting the cost" and what that means/looks like. It is something I am growing to understand. God is my Redeemer.

I wish I could write more, but I've got to jet. I can't believe I just used the phrase "got to jet." Quote for the day comes from my man Harry:

"Now/If you haven't got an answer/You'd never have a question/And if you never had a question/Then you'd never have a problem/But if you never had a problem/Well everyone would be happy/But if everyone was happy/There'd never be a love song"

1 comment:

  1. "And I still do not know how to purl. It drives me nuts still. I just am incapable of doing it."

    I was totally like this too. I would look at book after book and even videos on Youtube to try to figure it out but it wasn't until I went to an amazing little knitting shop on Sullivan street (that, ironically, is called "Purl,") and one of the women that works there literally showed me how.

    I'd be more than happy to teach you. It's so cool once you learn because you can create such cool patterns combining knit stitching and purl stitching!