L is the two-year-old boy I watch on Monday and Tuesday. Cutest child in life. He has this 60s-esque bowl haircut which is precious. He talks just like a two-year-old talks, so I only understand about half of what he says. The rest I try and figure out. You know what I mean. He can't really say the "th," "ch" or "sh" sounds. In fact, he can't say them at all. Like "sare-ees" is "cherries," things like that. He has the best memory of any child I know also. Like I met him one week before I started as his nanny, and he remembered my name. That never happens. Ever. And especially not with a two-year-old. And he knows all of his letters, numbers and all 50 states. He loves to play with trucks and listen to music. His favorite songs are "ABC" by the Jackson 5 and "Yellow Submarine" by the Beatles. So of course over the past two days I've heard them about 20 times, haha. Good thing I love the Beatles. He loves to repeat the song lyrics, and "sea of green" sounds like "see-uh-geen." It is so cute! He doesn't really like to go to the park, which was so sad because Monday was absolutely gorgeous. Plus he's two, so he does get cranky sometimes. Meaning he's a normal child. Love him.
K is the four-year-old girl I watch on Wednesdays and Fridays. Gorgeous blonde who only wears dresses. Loves the story of Hansel & Gretel, so much that I now have it permanently stored in my memory. Loves princesses and dressing up like one. She pretty much has free reign of the house, and her stuff is everywhere. Very creative with an incredible imagination. She loves to make up stories. Plus she is going to be a great artist. Her mom is an art professor, so I guess it runs in the family. Usually, when a four-year-old colors, he scribbles in big circles. That is what coloring is. But she actually draws, and draws so you can recognize what she's drawing. Her parents don't believe in television, so I don't think she's ever watched it before. Watching a movie is a very, very special treat. She loves to eat pears and yogurt, too. So energetic and physical. Playing with her is a full-contact sport. Loves to go to the park, so I find myself praying more and more for the weather to be nice.
Those are my kids. I love being a nanny. It was hard at first, not going to lie. It was just different than I expected. I'm not sure what I expected exactly, but thinking about being a nanny is a lot different from being a nanny. I am getting better at it, that's for sure. No one can tell you how to be a nanny or what to do when you're a nanny. It's totally something you have to just jump into. I'm glad I'm one of those people who is very comfortable doing that, jumping in. I like to "wing it" more than anything. I know preparation is important, but usually I'd rather not. Or only do minimal.
My confidence with kids is much better than it was. I always knew I was good with kids, but now I actually really know I'm very good. It sounds so not humble, but I don't know how to word it the right way. I am very confident when it comes to children because I know my God-given talent is being developed and cultivated by the Lord. It's like I know this is what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm learning so much and it all makes sense. Plus having read Boundaries came at the exact right moment. Now I actually understand, like really understand, concepts like "discipline" and "consistency," things that I used to talk about but not realizing how abstract they still were to me. Okay, reading back over this paragraph, my writing is not exactly conveying what I truly want to say. I'm trying here, but I am a much better in person speaker than blogger I guess.
I guess the real thing is I have a deep desire to be a wife and mother, but since I didn't have much experience with kids when that desire became real it seemed so impossible. I thought to myself, "I'm never going to be a good mother. I won't know how to deal with my own children or how to raise them properly." Now I know that while I still won't know what I'm doing (because no parent actually does, really) at least I'm closer than I was. Meaning I know a little bit more than I did. Which is to say I still don't know anything, but at least I know that I don't know anything.
Looking back at all God has done and knowing what He is doing and will do in my life is both very humbling and very uplifting at the same time. It's uplifting because I know He loves me. The God of the universe, the Creator, cares about my heart and my character. He wants me to look like His Son. He actually cares about the decisions I make and about my personal growth. What?! It's humbling for all of the reasons I just mentioned as well. Love is humbling. It really is. Plus, all of this growth is humbling because, at the end of the day, it is not about me. It never was, it never will be. All of this is about something greater than me, something so much more worthy and beautiful. God's glory is so much more worth it.
I feel like I am trying and failing to convey this concept in this blog. I know what I'm trying to say, but there is this disconnect between the actual idea, my brain and it's limited understanding, my heart and it's limited knowing, the struggle to put something so amazing into words and my fingers on the keyboard. I will keep trying, but this is something I can better say face to face.
And now for something completely different...
I cannot believe Gran Torino was not nominated for a single Oscar. Zilch. Zip. Nil. What? Really? People, what were you thinking? Did any of you actually watch the movie? Did you not sob at the end, did you not realize how Clint played the Christ-figure to near perfection? Also, I still don't understand how The Dark Knight was not nominated for Best Picture. Again: What? Really? Definitely one of the best movies of all time, one of the best movies ever made, and no nomination. I just don't get it. I really don't. Every year I say I'm never going to watch the Oscars again because I just can't get my head around how they choose the same four movies to give all the nominations to. Every time a Holocaust movie is made, instant nomination. Can we please have a little movie diversity? This tirade could go on for pages, but I just don't think the Academy is worth that much.
I am so feeling the love from people based on my Skype status on Facebook. I really do love my friends. Like really love.
Alright, I have more to say but I've got to leave for work. I'm not sure the exact form of this quote, but you get the idea. Quote of the day is:
"The more you learn, the less you know."